How to overcome your
shyness and develop
your courage (1)
How often have you found yourself trembling, heart pounding,
legs weak, cheeks on fire, when facing a colleague or your boss, a
teacher or a traffic cop, or simply a person of the opposite sex?
Shyness can be paralyzing at any age. It causes bizarre anxieties,
nightmares, indigestion and, when the occasion to be strong and
affirmative
has passed, infinite regrets.
Do you thing you’re beyond hope?
If you do, you’re wrong. Shyness can be treated. You might not
be aware that most psychologists who have published works on the
subject, were at one time very shy themselves. Who is more likely
to
be interested in shyness, and write hundreds of pages about it,
than a
person who is shy!
Those who have never suffered from shyness are incapable of
understanding to what point it can ruin our lives and make us
unhappy.
Self assurance, confidence and ease of expression are the main
qualities of a magnetic personality. If being shy is forcing you
to hidebehind a shell, then you’re missing out on
many of the beauties of
existence.
Throw away your shell, and learn to live a full and satisfying
life!
What
kind of shy person are you?
This is
no joke. There are varying degrees and numerous types of
shyness.
This
test will tell you what category you
belong
to:
1. You’re
invited to a party with thirty other people. You only
know one
of them:
❑ a) You don’t
leave that person’s side the whole evening.
❑ b) You chat
with two or three other people, who seem as
alone as
you are.
❑ c) You move
from one group to another, and take advantage
of the
opportunity to make new acquaintances.
2. You
have go to an interview for a new job:
❑ a) You don’t
sleep the night before.
❑ b) You have a
hard time getting to sleep, convinced that the
other
candidates have more chance of getting the job than
you do.
❑ c) You get a
good night’s sleep, confident of your abilities
and
qualifications.
3. You
arrive late for a conference, and realize that the entrance is
right in
front of the audience.
❑ a) You walk
right in. ❑ b) You wait in the hallway for
another latecomer, and slip in
behind.
❑
c) You wait for a break in the
proceedings before entering.
4. During a group discussion, you’re asked
to voice your opinion
about a subject that is familiar to you:
❑
a) You feel uncomfortable
because people are looking at you,
but you are able to provide an acceptable
explanation.
❑
b) You’re taken by surprise, and
find yourself incapable of
expressing yourself coherently.
❑
c) You provide a clear and
concise explanation, without
feeling in the least embarrassed.
5. At a meeting where the participants are
asked to state their
views:
❑
a) You never take the floor because
you’re convinced that
you have nothing important to say.
❑
b) You speak out whenever you
have a suggestion.
❑
c) You take the floor, and joke
a bit before stating your
opinion in a clear and concise manner.
6. The opinions of your colleagues:
❑
a) Sometimes cause you to
change your attitude in order to
please them.
❑
b) Slide off you like water off
a duck’s tail.
❑
c) Often prevent you from
sleeping.
7. You’re waiting in line when a few
people push in front of you:
❑
a) You automatically step back
in front of them.
❑
b) You ask them firmly but
politely not to push in line.
❑
c) You’re afraid they’ll get
aggressive and don’t say
anything. 8. You’re
discussing a subject you don’t know much about with a
group of
specialists:
❑ a) You are very
impressed, and feel somewhat inadequate.
❑ b) You avoid
saying much because you’re not familiar with
the
subject, but you don’t feel inferior because you do have
a lot of
expertise in other fields.
❑ c) You admit
your ignorance, and show a desire to learn
more.
9. You
find yourself with a group of people who are somewhat
snobbish:
❑ a) You let them
know that you’re nobody’s fool.
❑ b) You try and
be as snobbish as they are.
❑ c) You’re very
impressed, and don’t dare say anything for
fear of
appearing ridiculous.
10. Your
boss turns around and blames you for doing exactly what
he asked
you to do:
❑ a) You start
excusing yourself and feel guilty.
❑ b) You excuse
yourself and explain that you had trouble
understanding
his orders correctly.
❑ c) You remind
him of his orders, politely but firmly,
11. You’re
in the waiting room of a doctor who specializes in sexually
transmitted
diseases:
❑ a) You wonder
what the other people must think of you.
❑ b) You behave
as if you were in any other waiting room.
❑ c) You try to
let the other patients know that you haven’t got
that
kind of problem.
12. Do
you wear sunglasses:
❑ a) Never❑ b)
Sometimes
❑
c) V Very often
13, When you have to make a speech or a
presentation:
❑
a) You concentrate only on what
you’re going to say, and
neglect to listen to other people’s
speeches.
❑
b) You half listen, but you’re
distracted.
❑
c) You listen closely, and
adapt your own speech to what has
been said before.
14. You get the impression that other
people:
❑
a) Treat you as an equal.
❑
b) Treat you with
condescension.
❑
c) Make fun of you.
15. When someone compliments you:
❑
a) You feel uncomfortable, and
mutter a few indistinct words
in return.
❑
b) You transfer the credit to
someone else, and quickly change
the subject.
❑
c) You thank the person who
complimented you.
16. When someone says something nasty
about you:
❑
a) You are incapable of
replying on the spot, and then spend
the next two hours regretting that you
didn’t come up
with this or that retort.
❑
b) You feel rejected,
misunderstood and disliked.
❑
c) You reply immediately.
17. Do you think that others know how shy
you are?
❑
a) Somewhat
❑
b) Perfectly
❑
c) Not at all
18. When someone you don’t know raises
their voice nearby:
❑
a) You immediately feel guilty.
❑
b) You think that the person
needs to learn more self control.
❑
c) You laugh about it because
whatever the cause is, it doesn’t
concern you.
19. You’re on vacation, and someone
invites you to join their group
for dinner:
❑
a) You refuse because you don’t
know the people, and end
up eating alone.
❑
b) You refuse at first, but
then feel obligated to accept when
the person insists.
❑
c) You accept or decline,
according to how your mood, with
out feeling in the least disturbed.
20. Your shyness:
❑
a) Prevents you from saying
what you think.
❑
b) Makes you say things that
you really don’t think.
❑
c) Does not prevent you from
expressing
