How to overcome your

shyness and develop

your courage  (1)

How often have you found yourself trembling, heart pounding,

legs weak, cheeks on fire, when facing a colleague or your boss, a

teacher or a traffic cop, or simply a person of the opposite sex?

Shyness can be paralyzing at any age. It causes bizarre anxieties,

nightmares, indigestion and, when the occasion to be strong and affirmative

has passed, infinite regrets.

Do you thing you’re beyond hope?

If you do, you’re wrong. Shyness can be treated. You might not

be aware that most psychologists who have published works on the

subject, were at one time very shy themselves. Who is more likely to

be interested in shyness, and write hundreds of pages about it, than a

person who is shy!

Those who have never suffered from shyness are incapable of

understanding to what point it can ruin our lives and make us unhappy.

Self assurance, confidence and ease of expression are the main

qualities of a magnetic personality. If being shy is forcing you to hidebehind a shell, then you’re missing out on many of the beauties of

existence. Throw away your shell, and learn to live a full and satisfying

life!

What kind of shy person are you?

This is no joke. There are varying degrees and numerous types of

shyness.

This test will tell you what category you

belong to:

1. You’re invited to a party with thirty other people. You only

know one of them:

❑ a) You don’t leave that person’s side the whole evening.

❑ b) You chat with two or three other people, who seem as

alone as you are.

❑ c) You move from one group to another, and take advantage

of the opportunity to make new acquaintances.

2. You have go to an interview for a new job:

❑ a) You don’t sleep the night before.

❑ b) You have a hard time getting to sleep, convinced that the

other candidates have more chance of getting the job than

you do.

❑ c) You get a good night’s sleep, confident of your abilities

and qualifications.

3. You arrive late for a conference, and realize that the entrance is

right in front of the audience.

❑ a) You walk right in. ❑ b) You wait in the hallway for another latecomer, and slip in

behind.

❑ c) You wait for a break in the proceedings before entering.

4. During a group discussion, you’re asked to voice your opinion

about a subject that is familiar to you:

❑ a) You feel uncomfortable because people are looking at you,

but you are able to provide an acceptable explanation.

❑ b) You’re taken by surprise, and find yourself incapable of

expressing yourself coherently.

❑ c) You provide a clear and concise explanation, without

feeling in the least embarrassed.

5. At a meeting where the participants are asked to state their

views:

❑ a) You never take the floor because you’re convinced that

you have nothing important to say.

❑ b) You speak out whenever you have a suggestion.

❑ c) You take the floor, and joke a bit before stating your

opinion in a clear and concise manner.

6. The opinions of your colleagues:

❑ a) Sometimes cause you to change your attitude in order to

please them.

❑ b) Slide off you like water off a duck’s tail.

❑ c) Often prevent you from sleeping.

7. You’re waiting in line when a few people push in front of you:

❑ a) You automatically step back in front of them.

❑ b) You ask them firmly but politely not to push in line.

❑ c) You’re afraid they’ll get aggressive and don’t say

anything. 8. You’re discussing a subject you don’t know much about with a

group of specialists:

❑ a) You are very impressed, and feel somewhat inadequate.

❑ b) You avoid saying much because you’re not familiar with

the subject, but you don’t feel inferior because you do have

a lot of expertise in other fields.

❑ c) You admit your ignorance, and show a desire to learn

more.

9. You find yourself with a group of people who are somewhat

snobbish:

❑ a) You let them know that you’re nobody’s fool.

❑ b) You try and be as snobbish as they are.

❑ c) You’re very impressed, and don’t dare say anything for

fear of appearing ridiculous.

10. Your boss turns around and blames you for doing exactly what

he asked you to do:

❑ a) You start excusing yourself and feel guilty.

❑ b) You excuse yourself and explain that you had trouble

understanding his orders correctly.

❑ c) You remind him of his orders, politely but firmly,

11. You’re in the waiting room of a doctor who specializes in sexually

transmitted diseases:

❑ a) You wonder what the other people must think of you.

❑ b) You behave as if you were in any other waiting room.

❑ c) You try to let the other patients know that you haven’t got

that kind of problem.

12. Do you wear sunglasses:

❑ a) Never❑ b) Sometimes

❑ c) V Very often

13, When you have to make a speech or a presentation:

❑ a) You concentrate only on what you’re going to say, and

neglect to listen to other people’s speeches.

❑ b) You half listen, but you’re distracted.

❑ c) You listen closely, and adapt your own speech to what has

been said before.

14. You get the impression that other people:

❑ a) Treat you as an equal.

❑ b) Treat you with condescension.

❑ c) Make fun of you.

15. When someone compliments you:

❑ a) You feel uncomfortable, and mutter a few indistinct words

in return.

❑ b) You transfer the credit to someone else, and quickly change

the subject.

❑ c) You thank the person who complimented you.

16. When someone says something nasty about you:

❑ a) You are incapable of replying on the spot, and then spend

the next two hours regretting that you didn’t come up

with this or that retort.

❑ b) You feel rejected, misunderstood and disliked.

❑ c) You reply immediately.

17. Do you think that others know how shy you are?

❑ a) Somewhat

❑ b) Perfectly

❑ c) Not at all

18. When someone you don’t know raises their voice nearby:

❑ a) You immediately feel guilty.

❑ b) You think that the person needs to learn more self control.

❑ c) You laugh about it because whatever the cause is, it doesn’t

concern you.

19. You’re on vacation, and someone invites you to join their group

for dinner:

❑ a) You refuse because you don’t know the people, and end

up eating alone.

❑ b) You refuse at first, but then feel obligated to accept when

the person insists.

❑ c) You accept or decline, according to how your mood, with

out feeling in the least disturbed.

20. Your shyness:

❑ a) Prevents you from saying what you think.

❑ b) Makes you say things that you really don’t think.

❑ c) Does not prevent you from expressing